I am so over all of the connectivity issues we have and how shitty our ISP is. We have digital phone, cable and internet access all through the same company for more than one reason. For one, it’s a fucking monopoly so there’s no other choice as far as high speed internet access goes, and secondly, putting everything together is (albeit marginally) cheaper than paying for everything separately.

We recently had an outage that lasted for two days. Okay, fair enough. Shit happens. I’d call the support number periodically (via cellphone because nothing worked) to check on the status, and they’d been “working diligently” on the issue and no status updates, a description of what caused the outage, or any kind of time frame as to when it would be fixed were available.

Finally the phone and cable started coming back little by little, and both of those are fully restored now. The internet however? I’ve spent the good part of 2 days pinging via command prompt, reconfiguring my wireless adapter and router, and wanting to throw my computer out the window. I’m lucky to be able to connect at all right now. The odd part is, is that my Last.fm audioscrobbler and my IM client both work fine, I just can’t load pages and/or my pings are timing out. The outage is over and my area has 99% service, so I’m guessing I’m just fucked.

So, I call support. What a mistake. I verified my information FOUR times (despite the first technician telling me I wouldn’t have to verify it again), and sat on the phone for an hour with a woman in India who walked me through the same troubleshooting flows I’d been doing on my own for the past two days. Because she wouldn’t let me speak. And because her grasp of English was sparse, and that’s being generous. Lady, I’m not new to this. The shitty company you work for? Yeah, I’ve dealt with it for a while and I know all of my networking tricks.

I’m not mad at her though, she just sits there to pay her bills. I am however, pissed off at our shitty cable provider. I’m pissed that there are no other options in my area. I’m pissed that a globally traded, multi-billion dollar a year company can’t locate and fix a small (small in comparison to the network they have all over the United States) outage that effects over half of Ohio. I’m pissed that I’m pissed about this to begin with.

I’m pissed that if you try to schedule a technician to come to your home to make sure everything is in proper working order, that they give you the most ridiculous, vague ass time frame. “We can send a tech out from 2 to 5pm in a week and a half.” Are you kidding me? We pay you over $100 a month to wait a week and a half with no phone or internet access, and to sit on our asses from 2 to 5 on the off chance that a minimum wage, freshly paroled technician will stroll up and fuck with some wires? Die in a fire.

I need a vacation.

Myspace’s GOD AWFUL structure - I spent about an hour trying to edit my Myspace, and while it looks better than it did, I give up. Tom, you are a fucking asshole, and I hate your guts. Stop using tables, stop styling EVERYTHING YOU CAN FIND with span classes, and learn how to code cleanly and semantically without the use of inline style tags in your markup. Half of the line break tags are unenclosed with the other half ARE enclosed, some of the links aren’t escaped, and it looks like you let a 5 year old loose in your index file. Drink bleach.

Helvetica Neue as a main body font. - I love Helvetica Neue as much as the next font-obsessed designer. But the fact remains, that Helvetica Neue is NOT readable in small sizes. Not everyone uses a Mac, or a browser that antialiases text to smooth things out. And even WITH text-smoothing, it’s still hard to read and it looks like shit. Secondly, not everyone even HAS the font installed, so why use it to begin with if only a marginal number of your visitors are going to see it (and be irritated by it) in the first place? Stick to using the font on mastheads or at large sizes. Of course, we do have the option of using the Stylish plugin for Firefox to change the font, but a.) who has time for shit like that if you need information in a hurry, and b.) how many people really use Stylish? Stop being a fucking idiot and use a regular font face.

Google Ads and horrible placement. - Okay, I have no problem with you wanting to monetize your blog. I do think it’s pretty pointless unless you have a heavy traffic flow, or visitors stupid enough to click on shit that LOOKS like spammy ads in the first place. But whatever, it’s your website. It still infuriates me when websites claiming to focus on “usability” and “readability” slap Google ads above their content section. It’s visually distracting, disjointed and gets in the way of displaying your content, especially when you neglect to style it accordingly and it’s mashed against your text. If you have to use them, choose the inline display in the Adsense options, and put it in a discrete place, like your footer. The only thing your 16-iframed-Google ads make me want to do is leave your website and never return. Or go Adblock-happy, depending on my mood.

Black and white layouts aren’t unique or creative. - While it’s true that when showcasing your work to a potential client, it’s good to send a message of design nuetrality, to show them that you’re flexible in what you can do. You don’t have to slap 80pt Georgia with some black line breaks on a white background to be neutral. It’s all over the place, and it has never been effective or even mildly attractive. It’s not creative, visually appealing, or unique. Stop it.

Yellow text on a black background has never looked good. - And it will never look good. Enough said. I don’t even need a thumbnail for this one.

Now cut the shit, dudes.

Automobile - Automobile is such a great font for several reasons. It’s hard to find a good cursive font, and this one fits the bill for whatever I need it to do. It has a distinct retro-feel to it while retaining modern flow and symmetry. Definitely a must-have.

Lane Narrow - Lane Narrow is a great alternative to Helvetica Neue. They aren’t identical, but they both have the same modern, sleek flow to them. It’s nice to have without that big Helvetica price tag.

Segoe UI - Segoe UI is a Microsoft font originally developed for print, and works great as an alternative to Myriad Pro. I see this font used on a lot of Mac-inspired buttons, and it has a definite web 2.0 feeling to it.

Slab Tall X Medium I love Salb Serif fonts. This one has many of the same characteristics as Rockwell, and looks fantastic with illustrations. It has that retro serif feel, while still being versatile enough to use on web 2.0 style designs.

Susie’s Hand - This font was originally developed by a Scrapbooker, and can be pretty difficult to track down. You guys have to check out the rest of this font, because that preview totally doesn’t do it justice. I love me some handwritten fonts, and this one is definitely one of the best. I use it often as a focal point font, especially for use in print.

Telegrafico - I have a thing for font faces that look like they were developed during the golden age of modern design, and this one fits that description nicely. I use this often on everything from mastheads to buttons, and it would look sexual paired with a more flowy, decorative font like Automobile up there.

Speaking of modernism, another font I’ve been drooling over lately is Scene. It may not look that much different from many other sans-serif fonts available, but I am so in love with it. It’s also the font used throughout Expression Engine’s entire user interface, and it always looks good no matter what usage it has. Feel free to send it to me illegally if you have it, or alternatively, buy it for me. Thanxbai.

Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I need to move to the moon.

Sometimes when I’m feeling particularly lazy or uninspired, I’ll think: “Well, I could cut out the blog all together and simply post my photos.” But then I realize how much I’d miss the writing aspect when I AM inspired and do have something I want to share. And when it comes to design? Jesus God. I could whip up a fantastic, cohesive design for a client within two hours, but for my own website? This task is even more difficult if you’re trying to design, say, a portfolio. I can’t tell you how many folders of portfolio mock-ups I have rotting on my hard drive. You want to be able to show people what you can do, but at the same time try to steer clear of any one particular style to show that you’re flexible. It also doesn’t help matters that web development is arguably the most competitive, fastest growing field in the job market. These are times when I need that break. I guess I’m just really indecisive.

Anyway, I’m still editing and adding to the content section as much as I can, finishing layouts and editing articles, so let me know what you guys think so far. Also, if there’s anything else you’d like to see, I’m always open to suggestions. I know a couple people are waiting on a few of my articles to be put up, so those should be finished by the end of this month.

This month is ridiculous as far as birthdays go. My mom, sister and niece all have birthdays this month, with my sister and niece having two parties each. Why? Ask them. We also went out to dinner to celebrate all of their birthdays at once, because apparently they just can’t get enough family time! It’s not that I don’t love my family dearly, but trust me. Seven parties here and you’ll wonder why I don’t have a problem with substance abuse by now. Something about nagging family members really facilitates the desperate urge to begin the inevitable slide into alcoholism via tequila. 

My dog might as well have his own website, at this point.

My brain might be cheese, but at least my shutter finger still works.

Grey’s Anatomy - I’ve followed Grey’s since season two, and purchased season one to catch up. I love all of the characters, but my favorites are probably Meredith and Christina. I love the storyline of the show, there’s always some scandalous bullshit going down at Seattle Grace. I can’t wait for it to start back up again! Becky hates this show in favor of House, but I suspect she’s never given it an adequate chance.

Anthony Bourdain - No Reservations I LOVE. this show. I’m fascinated with the idea of traveling all over the world, eating, and writing about the experience, and Anthony is one of my favorite TV personalities. He smokes, drinks, swears, and is generally my kind of guy. I couldn’t tell you how many episodes I refuse to delete off the DVR. I just keep watching them over and over because there’s always something you miss the first time around apparently? Either way, this is definitely one of my favorites.

Sex and the City - I have no idea how I forgot to include this in the initial post. I’ve watched Sex and the City since its inception, and it’s such a great show. I have several seasons of it on DVD as well, and I even watch the watered-down reruns on TBS. I can’t even begin to describe why I love this show, but if you’re also a fan, then I don’t need to because you’ll understand. I also loved the movie, and had initial fears of it sucking but it definitely didn’t disappoint. Endless love.

Everyday Italian Giada De Laurentiis is a goddess. I love the simplicity of the show, the cinematography is beautiful, and the recipes are quick and easy. I could watch this woman chop shit for hours. I even have her on DVD, thanks to my wife, as well as two of her books. If I could have a dream job, it would be to live in the upper east side of Manhattan, and photograph Giada’s food every day. Thinking about that makes me drool so maybe we should move on?

Roseanne I am dying to get all of the seasons on DVD, but the ones they show on Nick at Nite will have to do for now. I can’t tell you how many shitty nights Roseanne has gotten me through. When I had wisdom teeth removed, she was there with her obnoxious laugh and quick-witted family to cheer me up. Who doesn’t love this show? Sarah Gilbert, who plays Darlene on the show, is my favorite character, and also did a guest appearance on the show below. Feel free to buy me the DVDs.

Will and Grace Yet another series that I’ve been meaning to buy on DVD, I still watch the reruns on Lifetime. I love the writing of the show, the characters are fantastic and it always puts me in a good mood. I’m pretty sure Karen Walker was made specifically for me, and she might be one of my favorite television personalities of all time. Don’t argue with me. I do have season one and two on DVD, so if you’d like to buy me the rest of them I wouldn’t argue.

What are your favorite TV shows, past and present?

P.s. My content section is finished, earlier than expected! I shouldn’t say finished per say, as I do need to finish up a few articles and add more of my bookmarks to my resource list, but it’s presentable enough to be put up. Let me know what you think!

Sometimes I get lucky and Jack actually looks at me, as if to say “okay man, you get this one shot. But after this? I expect a fucking milkbone.”
We had a little photoshoot and discussed where we’re going to take her senior portraits at. She’s going to be a junior this year which is just ridiculous.
HAY GURL HAYYY
We laugh a lot.

My good friend Kaylie, whom some of you may know as Slutcakes, recently got two 5-week old Blue Tick Beagles, and tonight we will celebrate them being alive. With tequila. I’m super excited for this because a.) I don’t get out much, b.) I love puppies and small furry things, and c.) I love tequila so really, I can’t lose. Tomorrow is also Sunday, which if you ever have the opportunity to attend a typical Sunday Dinner at the Cameron household, you’ll understand why being locked in your bedroom with a hangover all day is a good idea.

“Why do you want to work for the Cleveland Clinic?”
“Because it has an excellent pay scale and set of benefits.”

“Have you ever had a negative experience with a customer or patient?”
“Are you fucking retarded? Have you ever actually interacted with the public?!”

“How long would you plan on being with us?”
“Ten minutes.”

Naturally, I refrain from these kinds of responses but sometimes? The urge is overwhelming. I suppose these questions are helpful in selecting the right kind of person for the job. But I’ve interviewed at different branches of the Clinic like FOUR TIMES NOW, so you’d think they’d make up their mind about it already, or at least keep some kind of record of my demeanor and attitude. I have office experience and I’m fantastic with people, specifically old people. I know my way in and out of a computer. Creating and managing spreadsheets is NOT. NUCLEAR. FISSION. Jesus, people. I know how to work in an office environment. I know how to conduct myself, the procedures involved, and it’d take me 2 days tops to have the system figured out. HIRE ME ALREADY.

It’s amazing how high of a regard they put towards this “office experience.” I’d have already been running circles around these tired hags by the time I was 12, so let’s cut the shit and make a decision already. Clearly I am in the right mood to go to a job interview.

It was such a beautiful day out today, internets. It was one of those cool, breezy days where the sun keeps trying to peak out from behind big puffy clouds and it felt like the first day of autumn. It’s amazing how something like that can completely lift your spirits and take away any worries you might have. Well, at least until the nagging, overbearing matriarch of the family throws a wrench in it. Or until it’s no longer nice out as it is in fact, 3am, and you’re sitting up writing mean spirited posts on your blog before a job interview.

It’s really hard being that cute, apparently it tires you out quickly.

My sister and my niece.

LOL.





We’re a special bunch, really.